I’m failing. I’m supposed to be running hard, running a lot, running all the time, and I’m not. I just don’t feel like it.
My runs recently have been great, easy cruises, no problem. Two-and-a-half-hour trail run? Sure! Twelve miles of singletrack? Whatever! Six miles alone on a not-exciting road? Why not?
I was well on my way toward my first ultramarathon. Plus I’m about to kick off a fall fitness campaign with Planet Shoes (stay tuned for more on that). So I’m not sure what happened.
Maybe it was because I missed my 14-mile run because we were camping that weekend, and then the following week I was too busy with work to make the time for the run. I could have gotten up at 5 a.m. to do it, but I kept thinking it would happen somehow.
Then I was running one day and got passed by someone. I decided to try to keep up and was doing my damnedest until I realized he was running a sub-7 pace. No thanks, can’t do it!
I slowed down, but not before my calf hurt. The same calf, same place, that kept me out of the Boston Marathon this year and instead had me in physical therapy. Crap.
The following weekend, when I was supposed to run at least 16 miles, we were backpacking in the Whites. So instead of a long run, I carried a heavy pack 11 miles up one day and 11 miles down the next. Sure, it was a good workout, but it was no run.
Again, this week, too much work to find the time to run. And to be honest, I keep setting my alarm for 5 a.m. and then smacking it right off when it buzzes at me. I don’t want to get up that early. I don’t want to run alone.
Wah, wah, wah.
My mood has lightened a little once I realized that instead of running the ultra as planned, I can just do the trail marathon that day (or, heck, if things continue like this, the half marathon!). For some reason I’m not in racing form, and I’m not in racing mindset. I’m slower than ever, and I’m putting on weight, and I had PMS and now have my period, and I just feel kind of cruddy when it comes to running and fitness.
So there you have it. The truth about me and running right now. I’m pretty sure between the twingy calf and the missed long runs that the ultramarathon is definitely out for this year. I’ll still pull off some kind of awesome trail race that weekend, but not my first ultra after all.
I also need to find more races to run, overall. That would help. My trail-running group has been lying low, lately, due to vacations and injuries and travel and whatnot. So I’m “running lonely.” Maybe that’s the problem!
Let’s hope I get back on track soon before I’m too out of shape to put on my running shoes or find my Garmin watch.